June 12, 2004 - Cherry Hill RV Park, Washington, D.C.

Last time we went to Washington D.C. (during the sniper shootings), we had rented a Class C RV and stayed in this same park. What sucked was that we had to get on a bus, THEN on a subway to get us into this city. No sir-eee, not this time, we got ourselves a BIG HONKIN' PICKUP TRUCK to tool around the place.

Schnookie: "Hey Sweetie, even though I'm a card carrying member of PETA, let's go see THE ZOO!"

Sweetie: "Uh, yeah."

I did NOT say that! I wanted to go to the zoo because A) it was the first nice day we’d had and I wanted to spend it outside and B) although I LOATHE the whole idea of zoos and other forms of animal captivity for the amusement of stupid humans, I thought it might be a nice thing to see some critters. OH NEVERMIND--I don’t know WHAT I was thinking!!

Of course you ACTUALLY didn’t say that…it was a joke. As Foghorn Leghorn would say: “I keep pitchin’ ‘em and you keep missin’ ‘em!

Anyway, we get outside the gate. No parking...anywhere. We drive across the city in an attempt at putting a jacked-up four wheel drive Ford F-350 into an underground parking garage. No go. We find a spot on the street and take the subway BACK to the zoo.

The zoo; what a miserable place. I thought the dignified gorilla in the great ape house carried himself better than most all of the visitors. We got the hell out of there and went to the National Museum of American History (pop culture and other recent crap) at the Smithsonian. Oh look--there is Howdy Doodie, Charley McCarthy, Archie Bunker’s chair and the original Apple prototype. After walking all over the zoo in 90 degree heat, we were only able to cover the bottom floor of this place. At least it was free.

Agreed: going to the zoo was a stupid idea. It was just as horrible as I remembered. As Eric said, the magnificent silverback male mountain gorilla had far more dignity and intelligence than any of the human onlookers. It was sickening.

Our next door neighbors in a large Class A motor home were from the area. They had three old dogs and a husband with cancer. I told them of our journey, how--in honor of my stepfather who worked his whole life, made a million and died of leukemia two years after his retirement--I was taking one month off. The gentlemen with cancer replied, "Take two."

Washington DC: It's a beautiful city in so many ways, and all those great museums are free. The subway (called The Metro) is really cool--and confusing. It makes the "T" (Boston's subway system) look like a country backroad. And this time, no snipers were in the area! (That we knew of. . .)

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