Actual phone used. (Not shown actual size.)

	"Out On Dee Roam!" Both: "We are not here at home.." Both: "We can't answer our phone." Both: "We are out on dee roam!" Both: "So leave a message on dee phone." © 1996 Oh Yea, We're Gonna Make It Alright Music, Inc. All Rights Reserved, Lyrics Used by Permission
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	"Hand Me The Aspirin" Eric: "Our neighbors mixed the drinks" John: "That was late last night." Eric: "And now my breath really stinks." John: "Can't look at the light..." Eric: "Hand me the aspirin bottle" John: "Leave a message." (G 13th chord) © 1996 McCartney Doesn't Have Anything On This One Music, Ltd. All Rights Reserved, Lyrics Used by Permission
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	"We're Not Home" Johnny:"I act like I'm a three year old, I'm sure I'm gonna catch a cold, my brain is in a jello mold! (We're not home.)" Eric: "We jump around in underpants, we do a little happy dance, in case the neighbors catch a glance... Both: "We're not home!" (sharpy pen against a drinking glass) [repeat 3x] © 1996 Oh This Definately is Gonna Be a BIG Hit Music, Inc. All Rights Reserved, Lyrics Used by Permission
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	"Vouldn't Jew Like To Know Vare Vee Are?" Both: "Vouldn't jew like to know vare vee are?" Both: "It's much more likely that ve're near zen far!" Hans: "You should leave a message, if you have zum news for us." Frans: "'Cause if vee told you vare vee vere, zen you could shteal our shtuff!" Both: "So vouldn't jew like to know vare vee are?" Both: "Vouldn't jew like to know vare vee are?" © 1996 Pure Genius on This One Music, Ltd. All Rights Reserved, Lyrics Used by Permission
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	"Existential Thumb" Johnny: We're not home, but, even when we are, we're on a different plain of exsistence. Eric: Existance... Johnny: You know, like a Cessna or one of those gyrocopters. Eric: Like a gyrocopter! Johnny: So leave us your thoughts, particulary the existential ones. Eric: Existential thumb! © 1996 The World's Been Waiting For THIS One! Music, Inc. All Rights Reserved, Lyrics Used by Permission
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	"Carbon Monoxide Detector" Johnny: The U.S. consumer product safety commission recommends that every home be protected with at least one carbon monoxide detector. It is important to have a loud alarm close to every bedroom because carbon monoxide can travel through the heating system and cause victims to fall into a deep sleep! Eric: OH MY GOD! WE COULD'VE DIED!! Johnny: We're only thinking of your safety. © 1996 Isn't This One a GAS? Music, Inc. All Rights Reserved, Lyrics Used by Permission
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	"Ya Shoulda Known" Johnny: "Bum-pa-pa, bum pa-pa" Eric: "We're not here to answer the telephone." Johnny: " Bum! Bum!, Bum! Bum! (etc.)" Eric: "But when you call, you'll be appalled." "To hear a message like THIS, ya shoulda known." Johnny: (Bum-bum-bum) © 1996 We're Gonna WALTZ Right Into The Bigtime With This One! Music, Inc. All Rights Reserved, Lyrics Used by Permission
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	"$96,209" Eric and Johnny: We took our money and into this house it all sank. Great Western Mortagage is the one to thank! We're 30 years in debt, eviction is a good bet. Ninety six thousand, two hundred and nine dollars is what we owe to the bank! © 1996 This One Will Definately Pay Off The Mortgage Music, Inc. All Rights Reserved, Lyrics Used by Permission
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